A state trooper came to our home asking after an elderly relative, and I was made incredibly uncomfortable and felt unsafe, though I often feel that way around anyone with guns (uniform or no, guns don't make me feel safer). I was very rattled by behavior that I found to be standoffish and evasive regarding my relative, though I recognize that from an impartial observer it probably looked like they were simply trying not to disclose details to anyone but the relative they were seeking. The officer speaking was one I recognized from a prior encounter when an exit on the road was blocked off, and when I leaned out the passenger window to ask about alternate routes he shouted angrily that it wasn't his problem and scared us off. After they left a business card with a very specific threat of arrest to the relative without any other explanation and departed, I felt angered and shaken and promptly looked for a way to file a complaint about the way the warrant had been handled. I did not want to generate any kind of massive investigation against this officer, I simply wanted to know what my recourse was and wanted to discuss it with someone who had appropriate authority, and see if I was overreacting. In my angered state I speculated about his issues with my family and stated that he had yelled. I now realize that the wording of the statement suggests he yelled at me when visiting the house - he didn't - instead of at the less serious time on the highway - when he did. When I found an online form I filled it out and hoped I would get some recourse and answers. I was contacted by an IA officer who went over the sound on the dash cam from the visit and said my complaints were unfounded "if not fabricated," and did a decent job of calming me down and going over the issue with me. Satisfied and self-effaced that I had overreacted, I asked about issues of anonymity and withdrew the complaint. The relative is looking at a non-punitive option for the infraction, and during that process, the officer confronted them about the complaint, apparently having had an IA investigation hanging over their head for weeks (the complaint process took barely one week before it was withdrawn, but apparently it took the state many weeks to process). The relative obviously did not know about the complaint, I considered it separate from whatever their issue was, just something minimal about officer conduct. I had no idea the form I used would instigate a procedure that would alert the officer it concerned, and I had simply wanted to know if there was any recourse for what I had falsely perceived as misbehavior, not any gross crime or violation. Apparently it terrified and/or enraged this trooper, whom while I may not like his way of dealing with passengers asking for directions, I have no problem with. The form I used was directly related to the state police, and claimed that the results of all investigations are kept confidential. The officer said to the relative that I fabricated things, and clearly believed this relative had put me up to it until the moment it became clear the relative did not know about the complaint, and still likely believes the complaint was with malicious intent and not out of my own overreaction and paranoia concerning the powers of law enforcement. 1) Why did this complaint not remain anonymous, despite it being withdrawn and my persistent requests that it not reach the officer of concern, as ultimately I withdrew it after realizing my biases had clouded my perceptions? 2) What happens now? I really wish the complaint could be buried and done with, it shouldn't count as a mark against this officer, I genuinely was just looking to see if there was simply some way to have him be given a non-formal nudge of "don't yell at people" or "don't try to actively frighten people by threatening their relatives with non-specific arrest and then walking off without any other information." I know many people won't agree with me, I simply wanted some non-punitive recourse to air concerns about problematic behavior in a way that would not have this officer targeting me or my family or feeling targeted by the complaint. As much as I'd like to apologize directly to this officer for the stress that my speculations and poor complaint procedure/understanding has caused him, I worry that he will have the option to spin it into a false statement or something that he may use to criminalize my conduct. I simply want him to continue with his job, me to get better at not being scared of police, and my relative to finish their non-punitive justice process without the officer thinking I'm trying to undermine him or do something malicious. The info when filing the complaint made me believe it would remain sealed or at least anonymous, but clearly that was not the case. This is a very tangled web of overreactions and bad decisions, and I take much of the blame for it. Having spent the last few years traveling the country, I have seen many reasons to fear state police and fewer situations where one was inclined to trust them, and even when returning to the safe haven of a small town, I feel uneasy around men with guns and the authority to shoot me with them. While I believe there are systemic problems in our law enforcement and criminal justice systems, I obviously don't believe it makes all cops bad, but I worry that it fosters a culture with less accountability for the smaller problems as well as the larger ones. This complaint started as me wanting a way to express dissatisfaction with an officer's behavior, not attempt to indict them for any gross misconduct or criminal activity. Perhaps there is a community-related avenue I could have gone through, but none of the ones I could see would enable any degree of privacy or anonymity for even the initial conversation. I don't understand why it escalated into something that the officer not only discovered, but then learned copious details of (many of which do not match my recollection of the complaint, and I worry may have been pulled from a stressed and occasionally speculative/hyperbolic conversation with the IA officer). Can the officer use this against my relative? Is there some way to show that I regret the escalation of the complaint and was not intending to instigate such an investigation? I'm just worried I may have needlessly pissed off a state cop with my own fear of police.