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Discussion in 'War Stories' started by SargeLorenzo, Jul 14, 2009.
We joke about some of these ridiculous D/W's, but some really can be dangerous. The one I had with the frozen peas, a woman hauled back and let go with a 2-seam fastball, using a bag of Jolly Green Giant, catching her husband right on the button, giving him a shiner & bloody nose.
Had a clown I grabbed on a warrant in Worcester. ABDW "Buliding" Never got to ask about it, he was a bit upset.
Deck of playing cards, not in the box... could scratch a cornea!
Who gets to collect the evidence? I bet a new guy. Great.
We had a guy who assaulted his g.f. with frozen chicken.
In court, it would HAVE to be Commonwealth's Exhibit Number Two.
I'm sorry sir, we're going to have to impound this feces, building, stop sign, ocean, as evidence. You can pick it up right after the trial.
I once had a girl come into the station crying that her friend saw her driving up the street and thought it would be funny to throw her burrito at the car.
Unfortunately her aim was too good and it went through the window and hit the driver smack in the face. Hence A&B by means of a Burrito.
I have two:
1. Paper clips (from an open window with an elastic)
2. Basketball (chest pass to the face then stole the kids gold chain)
I had a bottle of laundry detergent tonight.
Vending machine size or 2,000 load BJ's ultra bulk size?
It'd have been SO much easier if someone learned to do their OWN laundry!
Economy size.....built-in handle version. It would have done some damage with a direct hit.
A few months back I charged A&B DW to wit APPLE...the girl threw a fastball right off the head of a fellow FSC student...
She was tutoring him in Physics and was trying to explain Newton's law
of gravity. CWOF 5 Minutes Curtesy of Hon. Judge You know who.
Snowball (it was icy)
HAHA you're not kidding either!!
We locked a guy up last week for throwing an egg and hitting his sister with it.
Assault and battery with a concrete dildo!
Best one I ever saw (I can't take credit for it) was on a guy's BOP, who got picked up on a warrant. AB/DW - Muffin.
Always wondered...blueberry? Corn? Maybe pistachio...those are pretty gross.
Yeah, Lamb To The Slaughter, originally a short story written by Roald Dahl.
Probably Pistachio. I know someone who is allergic to it. Can get pretty nasty if she has them.
I read a BOP the other night the guy had both "door" and "kitchen cabinet."
Maybe it was a MuffinTop?
I saw on a BOP a few weeks ago for ABDW "The Cold", thought it was kind of odd...