# unstable relative hired



## [email protected] (Dec 29, 2005)

hi there,
i am very concerned that a local community will hire my sil as a police officer because of her gender. She is a volatile person due to extensive abuse as a child. In the past she has had a suicide attempt, been on multiple anit depressive medications and has had difficulty holding a full time position outside of working for family members. My concern is that since she is a resident of this community, female and many people "feel bad" for what's she been through, is there anything i can do to make people aware of my concerns. I really feel that given a position of authority and with a gun no less she would one day "snap" and hurt someone who makes her angry.

any suggestions?
thanks
katelyn


----------



## Buford T (Feb 12, 2005)

Sounds like she is on the fast track for promotion, just keep taking the meds.....Perfectly healthy, perfectly normal....


----------



## Officer Dunngeon (Aug 16, 2002)

If her background is that questionable, especially the part about not being able to hold down a job, then that may raise a few eyebrows with the background investigators. 

Other than that, she does sound like she would fit in well! :roll:


----------



## Guest (Dec 29, 2005)

Get her to start posting here. She'll fit right in...


----------



## fjmas1976 (Aug 27, 2005)

[email protected] said:


> hi there,
> i am very concerned that a local community will hire my sil as a police officer because of her gender. She is a volatile person due to extensive abuse as a child. In the past she has had a suicide attempt, been on multiple anit depressive medications and has had difficulty holding a full time position outside of working for family members. My concern is that since she is a resident of this community, female and many people "feel bad" for what's she been through, is there anything i can do to make people aware of my concerns. I really feel that given a position of authority and with a gun no less she would one day "snap" and hurt someone who makes her angry.
> 
> any suggestions?
> ...


I suggest you mind your own business and stay out of it. If there really is something in her past/background that isn't kosher the background investigator will find it and red-flag her. Are you a psychiatrist? What are your qualifications in judging her? If my brother/sister fuc--d up a job opportunity for me (even if their concerns were valid) I would never forgive them. Try supporting your sister.....if she's had a tough life maybe a little backing would be nice. :sb:


----------



## no$.10 (Oct 18, 2005)

Some bitterness here towards the sister in law? Give the PD credit, just because she took the test and is on the list does not mean she's going to be hired. I am sure that if she is not fit for duty, she will be washed out in the hiring process, or at worst, in the academy. Otherwise, there is nothing you can do, as any negative statements you make will be eyed with more than a little suspicion.

To be honest with you, you already sound like a jerk.


----------



## Gil (Jun 15, 1998)

katelyn

If many people know of her situation then the pd will also know. Questions will be asked and depending on how she answers will set the stage for the rest of the background check. If your called as some sort of reference for her character then so be it, speak your mind but other than that I would stay out of it and leave it to the officers conducting the background investigation. 

This is not your standard call a few past employers reference check. Many departments go to great lengths to disqualify applicants. If she has issues be assured that they will find it, either in the background investigation, the academy or during field training.


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 29, 2005)

fjmas1976 said:


> I suggest you mind your own business and stay out of it. If there really is something in her past/background that isn't kosher the background investigator will find it and red-flag her. Are you a psychiatrist? What are your qualifications in judging her? If my brother/sister fuc--d up a job opportunity for me (even if their concerns were valid) I would never forgive them. Try supporting your sister.....if she's had a tough life maybe a little backing would be nice. :sb:


Actually i would think a person in a position of authority should be a morally sound, stable person. And i would hope others in that type of position would be "concerned" for their community and it's members safety more so than giving a person with documented mental illness a break.


----------



## Guest (Dec 29, 2005)

She sounds like Chief's material in a few years.


----------



## MVS (Jul 2, 2003)

Who knows, This might be exactly what she needed. There's a lot of PO's that have grown up in "diverse" situations and her life experience might help her. And LE could offer her the family she's always needed.

Just my .02


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 29, 2005)

no$.10 said:


> Some bitterness here towards the sister in law? Give the PD credit, just because she took the test and is on the list does not mean she's going to be hired. I am sure that if she is not fit for duty, she will be washed out in the hiring process, or at worst, in the academy. Otherwise, there is nothing you can do, as any negative statements you make will be eyed with more than a little suspicion.
> 
> To be honest with you, you already sound like a jerk.


Actually i came here in hopes that mature, responsible adults would respond with answers to my concerns. Unfortunately your thread indicates an immature person with alot of anger towards others which may be why you are pursuing a career in law enforcement. Vengence is not a drive towards success just another step in the road to failure.


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 29, 2005)

Wolfman said:


> http://www.mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/publications/allpubs/SMA96-3118/default.asp
> 
> So if the three people nearest you seem OK...
> 
> Yeah, and one might think that elected officials should be beyond reproach, courts will punish the guilty, and people would have an innate desire to contribute productively towards a happy and safe society. Now who's being delusional?


Not delusional, realistic. I treat people like you on a daily basis. People who think that because of their poor lives they deserve something special not by working for it or being mature, intelligent human beings but just by being on the sympathy parade of "poor me", "i can't cope" "i need a break". Ironically the people who are actually in law enforcement respond in a mature, objective manner. The wannabee's let their juvenile self esteem take over and attack others because that's how they've always dealt with differing opinions and concerns....


----------



## fjmas1976 (Aug 27, 2005)

no$.10 said:


> Some bitterness here towards the sister in law?
> To be honest with you, you already sound like a jerk.


 :L: Couldn't agree more


----------



## fjmas1976 (Aug 27, 2005)

[email protected] said:


> Actually i came here in hopes that mature, responsible adults would respond with answers to my concerns. Unfortunately your thread indicates an immature person with alot of anger towards others which may be why you are pursuing a career in law enforcement. Vengence is not a drive towards success just another step in the road to failure.


In case you haven't noticed this isn't the Dr. Phil message board here. We joke around, discuss issues, and give each other a good kick in the ass when it is needed. If you're looking for kindness and caring and warm fuzzy messages try the Oprah site.


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 29, 2005)

fjmas1976 said:


> :L: Couldn't agree more


funny i knew by your response you were a copy wannabee. good luck with mbta, i hear arresting people who ride the train free does wonders for low self esteem.


----------



## 7MPOC (Mar 16, 2004)

[email protected] said:


> Not delusional, realistic. I treat people like you on a daily basis. People who think that because of their poor lives they deserve something special not by working for it or being mature, intelligent human beings but just by being on the sympathy parade of "poor me", "i can't cope" "i need a break". Ironically the people who are actually in law enforcement respond in a mature, objective manner. The wannabee's let their juvenile self esteem take over and attack others because that's how they've always dealt with differing opinions and concerns....


Hey strive4more, in case your wondering Im not a wannabee Im a full time cop along with what I think is a majority of the people who have posted to your comments. Ironically as you would say, we all handle our profession in a mature, responsibile, objective and honest manner. We have to because it is our job. Its this time on the board we can joke and have fun because its tough to do while on the job. And nothing is better to come home from a double and see some nut posted nonsense about her sister in law. I imagine that she is "taking" the job from you or someone your close to and your trying to find out from other cops what kind of info you can use to get her the boot. I say there is nothing better to seeing this when Im tired and half asleep becuase I know when I wake up and check the site the my brother/sister officers and the true comedians on this board are going to have nothing but the "best" advice for you. Believe me when I say Im looking forward to checking in on this thread.

Im especially looking forward to MACOP's response.


----------



## Officer Dunngeon (Aug 16, 2002)

[email protected] said:


> Not delusional, realistic. I treat people like you on a daily basis.


Treat people like what how?



> People who think that because of their poor lives they deserve something special not by working for it or being mature, intelligent human beings but just by being on the sympathy parade of "poor me", "i can't cope" "i need a break".


I agree with you there. However, police departments are not so sympathetic to people with a "poor me" attitude. In addition, they don't ever say, "Awww, that poor kid. She's had a really tough life, she can't hold down a job and is obviously mentally unstable. Maybe she could use a big break. Let's give her a badge and a gun!"



> Ironically the people who are actually in law enforcement respond in a mature, objective manner. The wannabee's let their juvenile self esteem take over and attack others because that's how they've always dealt with differing opinions and concerns....


Really? Is this your opinion, or an educated, well researched thesis deducted from your own expertise in the field?



> Unfortunately your thread indicates an immature person with alot of anger towards others which may be why you are pursuing a career in law enforcement. Vengence is not a drive towards success just another step in the road to failure.


Sweetie-poo, you came on here to get an answer to your question, and you more than got it. You obviously know nothing about the hiring process or about law enforcement altogether, or else you wouldn't have come here to get information. Therefore, I don't think you need to start giving out your own advice, preaching how police officers are supposed to act or perform their duties, or dish out your own two-bit psychological analysis on the personality traits of police officers.


----------



## j809 (Jul 5, 2002)

> Do you know me? Who I am, what I do, how old I am, am I single, married, straight, gay?


He's the best damn television repairman in Massachusetts.


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 29, 2005)

fjmas1976 said:


> In case you haven't noticed this isn't the Dr. Phil message board here. We joke around, discuss issues, and give each other a good kick in the ass when it is needed. If you're looking for kindness and caring and warm fuzzy messages try the Oprah site.


actually i came here looking for honest advice. I didn't realize this was a board for the stressed and overworked. I actually think it's a problem when america's professionals sworn to "protect and serve" people and their community, would attack someone who came to this board because she's concerned because a relative is mentally ill and unstable and wants to go into law enforcement". I'm not here to "steal" someone's position nor prevent someone from a career goal. I'm here because i don't think someone who smokes pot or sells drugs to children is the kind of person who should be hired to "protect and serve" hey what do i know, maybe it's the norm.


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 29, 2005)

Gil said:


> katelyn
> 
> If many people know of her situation then the pd will also know. Questions will be asked and depending on how she answers will set the stage for the rest of the background check. If your called as some sort of reference for her character then so be it, speak your mind but other than that I would stay out of it and leave it to the officers conducting the background investigation.
> 
> This is not your standard call a few past employers reference check. Many departments go to great lengths to disqualify applicants. If she has issues be assured that they will find it, either in the background investigation, the academy or during field training.


Thank you for your reply, this helped quite a bit.


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 29, 2005)

7MPOC said:


> Hey strive4more, in case your wondering Im not a wannabee Im a full time cop along with what I think is a majority of the people who have posted to your comments. Ironically as you would say, we all handle our profession in a mature, responsibile, objective and honest manner. We have to because it is our job. Its this time on the board we can joke and have fun because its tough to do while on the job. And nothing is better to come home from a double and see some nut posted nonsense about her sister in law. I imagine that she is "taking" the job from you or someone your close to and your trying to find out from other cops what kind of info you can use to get her the boot. I say there is nothing better to seeing this when Im tired and half asleep becuase I know when I wake up and check the site the my brother/sister officers and the true comedians on this board are going to have nothing but the "best" advice for you. Believe me when I say Im looking forward to checking in on this thread.
> 
> Im especially looking forward to MACOP's response.


Oh you poor thing you worked a double.....SUCK it up buddy, be a man, everyone works doubles and i haven't seen anyone else whine about it like you. Hey who knows maybe next time a sexual predator applies for a position you will be on the bandwagon to hire them since they've had such a "tough" life....god dr. phil would love you, "poor me, i worked a double and am so tired'"


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 29, 2005)

Wolfman said:


> Oh, this is so delightful - are you a doctor? Probably not; a doctor would know that "a lot" is in fact two separate and distinct words, and there's an "a" in "vengeance".
> 
> Rudimentary vernacular aside, you "treat" people like me? What kind of person may that be, pray tell? Do you know me? Who I am, what I do, how old I am, am I single, married, straight, gay? My education, my background, my ethnicity - come on, you have all the answers, tell me about me. I'm dying to hear it. Maybe we should change your screen name to "Madam Zelda". Did your Magic 8-ball tell you that I don't work for what I've achieved? If you were in fact realistic, you would see the underlying truth behind the feedback you are receiving here. If our opinions differ, I will say so. If that offends you then cry me a river, baby. As I and others have said many times on this forum, this is not the place to come if you're looking for a shoulder to cry on.
> 
> I eagerly anticipate our next round of cheerful banter. Overwhelm me with your superiority. And as long as you'd like to "treat" me, I prefer hazlenut, black, extra sugar.


ah yes i do know you, you are the first person displaying your preferences and opinions in "Boston's Southie Parade" quoting "equal rights for all sexual preferences", yes my friend i do know you. However i never realized that you were a strong advocate for drug addicts and drug solictors joining your profession. Did you also support the unibomber? Yes, I've changed my mind, I think the mentally unstable deserve the opportunity to preserve over their setbacks and prove to society that despite medications they can still act irrationally and without conscience. Who cares if innocent children and people are the victims of such instability............obvisouly not you mr. tv. repairman.


----------



## j809 (Jul 5, 2002)

You are one sick F*CK. Seek help immediately.


----------



## no$.10 (Oct 18, 2005)

That sister-in-law has got nothin' on you..Kate.

Before I wrote that you sounded like a jerk. That was an accurate initial perception, I see. (Twenty years on the job has taught 'ol "no dime" how to pick em) Good luck to your SIL, I hope she can get away from you. 
:uc:


----------



## Gil (Jun 15, 1998)

[email protected] said:


> Thank you for your reply, this helped quite a bit.


 I must have been feeling warm and fuzzy after my shift.  Don't know what got into me....


----------



## fjmas1976 (Aug 27, 2005)

[email protected] said:


> funny i knew by your response you were a copy wannabee. good luck with mbta, i hear arresting people who ride the train free does wonders for low self esteem.


You're labeling your SIL unstable? You're the one who joined a Community Board and started insulting the people that took their time to answer your question. Before you start analyzing and diagnosing everyone on this board, take a good look at yourself. Do the words "passive-aggressive" mean anything to you? You came to us and asked everyone here for advice, we didn't come to you and ask for your opinion.


[email protected] said:


> good luck with mbta, i hear arresting people who ride the train free does wonders for low self esteem.


There are plenty of MBTA cops on here and guys who started in the MBTA that are more than ready to discuss that topic with you. Keep opening your mouth and talking about things you have no clue about........there's gotta be SOMEONE on here you haven't pissed off yet.

Have a Happy New Year! :flipoff:


----------



## Officer Dunngeon (Aug 16, 2002)

Wow. Talk about unstable! Must run in the family.


----------



## 7MPOC (Mar 16, 2004)

[email protected] said:


> Oh you poor thing you worked a double.....SUCK it up buddy, be a man, everyone works doubles and i haven't seen anyone else whine about it like you. Hey who knows maybe next time a sexual predator applies for a position you will be on the bandwagon to hire them since they've had such a "tough" life....god dr. phil would love you, "poor me, i worked a double and am so tired'"


Lady you must be crazy! Oh and by the way no one was complaining about working a double, maybe your sick mind interpreted that, Im still trying to figure that one out. All I ask is one thing, please post your name here I think all of us here would appreciate a head start on the pink papers if you ever come strolling through our towns.

Oh wolfman, I am sooooo tired from my double could you please get me a large regular when you get yours, thanks man, I will get you next time.

And just FYI, I found this site a few years ago and pretty much read and post once in a while when I think I can chime in on something, but I must say this is much more fun.


----------



## Bene_G (Dec 6, 2005)

Considering the SIL has been diagnosed, I assume that means she's gotten treatment. I consider someone like that 'worried well.' If she has issues, she's aware of them and getting help, which means she's self aware rather than in denial.

Most emergency services personnel (firefighters, corrections officers, police, EMTs,) have PTSD to some degree. The healthiest folks know how to maintain and when to ask for help. The most ill are the people who hide and deny it.

I've worked mental health for about 7 years now, and I'd rather have someone seeing a professional than denying issues. Just because someone has an illness doesn't mean they are disfunction or beyond rehabilitation. 

PS: you do sound like you have a personal issue with her, and you're looking to sabotage her potential success.


----------

