# Barbie Dolls for the Boston-area market



## CJIS (Mar 12, 2005)

*Barbie Dolls for the Boston-area market *

*Newton Barbie:* This princess Barbie is only sold at the Chestnut Hill Mall. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a long-haired dog named Honey and a Tudor style house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version. 

*Revere Barbie:* This tobacco smoking, platinum-dyed-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased her beer-gutted boyfriend Ken out of her triple decker. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with your choice of lips covered in sparkly pink 
or crimson. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted G-strings that stick out the back and a white see-through halter-top. 
Accessories include: CD-player equip ped with Bon Jovi and an old Mustang

*Lexington Barbie:* This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with your choice of Lexus SUV or Ford Windstar minivan. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education, having dropped out Ratcliffe to marry Doctor hubby Ken. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit. 

*Dorchester Barbie:* This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Honda Civic low-rider with spoiler and tinted windows and her own 
Meth Lab kit. This model is available after dark and can be paid for only in cash, preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you're a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about. 

*Brookline Barbie:* This yuppie Barbie comes with a choice of a BMW sports car or fully-loaded Hummer 2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, American Express card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper, but you can't afford them anyway. 

*Weymouth Barbie:* This pale model comes dressed in her own Levis jeans two sizes too small, a Harley Davidson shirt with cut off arms and has a tattoo of Tweety bird on her shoulder. She has big, stiff hair, a six pack of Bud Light and a Lynard Skynard CD set. She can spit over five feet and kick mullet-haired Kenny doll's ass when she's drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get its NASCAR bumper stickers absolutely free. 

*Gloucester Barbie:* This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard-print beach outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while she entertains friends at the beach house. Percocet prescription available. 

*Cambridge Barbie:* This doll is made of actual tofu, has long gray hair and archless feet, sandals with white socks, no make-up and a mutt. She prefers that you call her "Willow. " 

*Dedham Barbie:* This soccer mom Barbie comes with a Suburban or Minivan equipped with TV, VCR and DVD player and baby car seats or boosters for the eight kids permanently attached to the seats of the vehicle. This toddler toting Barbie comes with cell phone, pager, palm pilot, and is dressed in gym clothes with Nike Air sneakers. Vehicle of choice comes with Jesus fish and stuffed tiger with suction cup paws to stick on the rear window. Bumper sticker for honor roll student and Chuck E Cheese Pizza optional. 

*Taunton Barbie*: She's a fairly husky Irish brunette who smokes Marlboros and drinks Bud Light to preserve her petite pear shape. She's on her 2nd marriage) to Irish Cop Ken who owns a bar, and her Dad has run for the City Council. She has a cousin who's a teacher's aide and a brother who was a championship wrestler in high school. She has five kids: two from her current hubby, two from her previous hubby, and one other (don't ask). She works at City Hall doing "something" in the Clerk's office, but she's gonna be a nurse at "Saints" someday. She dri ves a '77 Camaro that has needed tires since '78. Her favorite band is Zeppelin and her favorite food is Espresso 
pizza.


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