# MassCops Mail Bag



## Gil (Jun 15, 1998)

Too funny



> The following message was sent to you via the MassCops - Massachusetts Law Enforcement Network Contact Us form by uzodinma ( mailto:[email protected] ).
> --------------------------------
> Some of your contributors use dirty words and exhibit Islamophobia,which is the other aspect of Al Qaeda's recruitment system and funding:through non members.I hope you will take note of such infiltration and
> 
> ...


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## Johnny Law (Aug 8, 2008)

No way! USMCMP5811 is anti Islam? Hahahahaha


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## justanotherparatrooper (Aug 27, 2006)

FUCK! That was a close one...I thought that was refering to me.
So Gil, hows IRAQ treating you? the absurdity of fuckstick sending a complaint to admin in in the sandbox or is that irony?


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## LGriffin (Apr 2, 2009)

Dirty words?! Heavens to Betsy, NO!


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## 263FPD (Oct 29, 2004)

I'd like to think that Iam not anti Islam. I am just anti everything it stands for.


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## Nighttrain (Dec 10, 2004)

Someone better let Usmcmp that the local Al Qaeda recruiter will be stopping by with some brochures.


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## MrPat (Jan 6, 2007)

His IP address traces back to Nigeria :lol:

Did he offer you great sums of money?


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## MetrowestPD (Oct 21, 2008)

--------------------------------
Some of your contributors use *dirty words* and exhibit Islamophobia,which is the other aspect of Al Qaeda's recruitment system and funding:through non members.I hope you will take note of such infiltration and

--------------------------------

That cunt asshole dickwad shitbag fuckstick is a two faced no good cocksucking douchebag of a liar.


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## Nighttrain (Dec 10, 2004)

I just washed my own mouth out with soap for having read that.


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## Johnny Law (Aug 8, 2008)

MetrowestPD said:


> --------------------------------
> Some of your contributors use *dirty words* and exhibit Islamophobia,which is the other aspect of Al Qaeda's recruitment system and funding:through non members.I hope you will take note of such infiltration and
> 
> --------------------------------
> ...


How fucking *dare* you say that? He is into coprophilia, scatophilia, necrophilia, all the other "philia"'s.


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## CJIS (Mar 12, 2005)

Islamophobia? Gee I always just thought of myself as "Anti-Terror". It is not my fault that most of the terrorist groups seem to be Islamic. At least that is what the Media and Government have been feeding us. So if being "Anti-Terror" makes me an Islamophobe so be it. Anything to keep this country safe.

As far as language I think I balance myself well. Some of the news in these threads though deserve some rough language as a response.


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## Hush (Feb 1, 2009)

The main cause of anti-islamist thoughts and feelings are lack of understanding about their culture and religion. It is important to be well educated on Islam and its people. I for one, learned everything I needed to know on 9-11-01. 
It would nice to one day only have to hear about Islam in history books.


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## LGriffin (Apr 2, 2009)

Nighttrain said:


> Someone better let Usmcmp that the local Al Qaeda recruiter will be stopping by with some brochures.


I'll stack them next to the WatchTower


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## kwflatbed (Dec 29, 2004)

He is riding on the short bus


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## Johnny Law (Aug 8, 2008)

USMCMP5811 below telling our Nigerian friend "I used to stack fucks like you as sandbags"


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## KozmoKramer (Apr 25, 2004)

Gil - do you think it's wise for us to keep this *usmcmp5811* character around considering the negative attention he's attracted? :mrgreen:


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## 263FPD (Oct 29, 2004)

KozmoKramer said:


> Gil - do you think it's wise for us to keep this *usmcmp5811* character around considering the negative attention he's attracted? :mrgreen:


Not only is it wise, but we should clone him by the thousands and send his clones to teach the Islamofascists the error of their ways.


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## Johnny Law (Aug 8, 2008)

I wonder if Kenny's ears are burnin' up right now?


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## KozmoKramer (Apr 25, 2004)

Johnny Law said:


> I wonder if Kenny's ears are burnin' up right now?


I'm still waiting for an "up yours" text message Johnny... LOL


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## Johnny Law (Aug 8, 2008)

KozmoKramer said:


> I'm still waiting for an "up yours" text message Johnny... LOL


LOL


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## justanotherparatrooper (Aug 27, 2006)

The look on his face cant be anyworse then when he and someone else was directed to a gay bar instead of the m&g


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## Boston Irish Lass (Feb 13, 2009)

263FPD said:


> Not only is it wise, but we should clone him by the thousands and send his clones to teach the Islamofascists the error of their ways.


I thought you already did, you just sent them disguised as soldiers.


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## kttref (Oct 5, 2004)

Wait..how has Ken missed this still. Oh wait..he's sleepin huh? hahahaha clearly islamaphobes sleep during the day...it MUST be true! 

BTW - why do all you MA people say "fuckstick"? I had never heard it until last week.


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## SPINMASS (Jan 30, 2004)

Because the Fucksticks seem to be coming out of the woodwork for the last couple of weeks.


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## Boston Irish Lass (Feb 13, 2009)

kttref said:


> BTW - why do all you MA people say "fuckstick"? I had never heard it until last week.


I'd never heard/read it until reading it here. Add to that:

GFY
Baggadoosh (my favorite)
unfuck
whacker/whackerishness
playing Bike Seat

and several others that aren't coming to mind at the moment LOL.


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## kttref (Oct 5, 2004)

Can "fuckstick" be a term of endearment?


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## SPINMASS (Jan 30, 2004)

While fuckstick could be used a term of endearment, I would never use Baggadoosh that way.


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## Kilvinsky (Jan 15, 2007)

*Some of your contributors use dirty words and exhibit Islamophobia,which is the other aspect of Al Qaeda's recruitment system and funding:through non members.I hope you will take note of such infiltration and*

and...AND WHAT?????

Did I miss something? Shouldn't there be more? I'm on the edge of my fucking seat! Fuck. I gotta fucking know what more there might have been. Come on ya towel headed pork eater, TELL US!

Shit damn!

cork?

Never mind that, I'm sick of these scuzballs posting shit and not finishing sentences. It's the true sign of a douche bag that would do


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## kttref (Oct 5, 2004)

SPINMASS said:


> While fuckstick could be used a term of endearment, I would never use Baggadoosh that way.


Gotcha...thanks for the clarification!


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## jettsixx (Dec 10, 2005)

I personally like "fucktard". Also the word "Fuck" should be used often in conversation. Just listen to this:

The F Word


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## NewEngland2007 (Dec 31, 2005)

> playing Bike Seat


I thought I was proficient in the lexicon of vulgarity, but WTF is playing Bike Seat?


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## Nuke_TRT (Feb 10, 2008)

Dear Mr. Uzodinma.

I am Mr. Nuke_TRT, I work in the Accounts/ Operations Department of a Prime banks here in Masscops. I actually have an urgent and very confidential business proposal for you. I got your contact from Internet and decided to contact you immediately. 

On January 10th 1994, An American Oil Consultant/ Contractor with the Societe Ivoirienne De Raffinage (SIR), Mr. George Norman Wesley, made a number time (fixed) deposits valued at US$8,750,000 (Eight Million, Seven Hundred & Fifty Thousand United States Dollars). On investigation, it was discovered that Mr. Wesley died along with his family in a plane crash. On further investigation, I discovered that Mr. George Norman Wesley did not leave a WILL and all attempts to trace his Next of Kin proved abortive. I therefore made further investigation and discovered that Mr. Wesley did not declare any Next of Kin in all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit paper work. This sum of US$8,750,000 is still floating in the Bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at the end of each year. For the past 5 to 6 years now, no one has ever come forward to claim the fund.

According to the Ivoireinne Laws, at the expiration of 7 (seven) years, the money will revert to the ownership of the Ivoireinne Government if nobody applies to claim the funds. That is what gave way to this deal.

Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand in as the Next of Kin to Mr. George Norman Wesley so that the fruits of this old man's labour will not get into the hands of some government officials.

To facilitate the transaction therefore: 

1. I would like you to provide me with a viable account details where this fund could be safely transferred into as Next of Kin of the former depositor. 

2. We do not anticipate any risk/problem whatsoever, as all the loopholes has been taken care of and there is no risk involved in this deal. All the Computer work for this transaction will be done by me, including your name as the new Beneficiary of this fund. 

You will be entitled to 30% of the total amount as your commission after the transaction. If you are interested and capableof handling this deal, please write. On receipt of your response, I shall then provide you with more details on how to go about it. 

Please note that this is very confidential. And as I am still a staff with the bank here. I would not like to be known or mentioned as having knowledge of the deal but I will be giving you inside information on what to do. 

Awaiting your urgent reply. Do not forget to include your direct telephone and fax numbers for further communication. 

Faithfully Yours, 

Mr. Nuke_TRT


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## ArchAngel2 (Oct 11, 2005)

I personally like the term " fuckwad"


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## lofu (Feb 25, 2006)

I've been using "fucko" a lot lately.


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## Killjoy (Jun 23, 2003)

To take a quote from Noveske; *Stops Jihad on Contact.*


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## 8MORE (Nov 25, 2008)

I don't think that anybody here is anti-Islam, Just pro-truth. Truth is Islam is anti Christian/ Jewish and want to kill or convert us.


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## ArchAngel2 (Oct 11, 2005)

Killjoy said:


> To take a quote from Noveske; *Stops Jihad on Contact.*


 :L::L::L::L: I got one here and it WORKS!!!


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## Goose (Dec 1, 2004)

Killjoy said:


> To take a quote from Noveske; *Stops Jihad on Contact.*


I thought that was Spikes Tactical...or did they steal the line from Noveske?


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## Guest (Jul 5, 2009)

ArchAngel2 said:


> :L::L::L::L: I got one here and it WORKS!!!


You have a Noveske ???????

and BTW Sam........... the title is Mail Bag, not BALL GAG...... don't want you sparkin up the 2-Stroke gas powered dildo for nothing !!!!


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## Boston Irish Lass (Feb 13, 2009)

NewEngland2007 said:


> I thought I was proficient in the lexicon of vulgarity, but WTF is playing Bike Seat?


It was used on the ^ < V thread. I asked for clarification....haven't seen it yet.


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## Guest (Jul 5, 2009)

Boston Irish Lass said:


> It was used on the ^ < V thread. I asked for clarification....haven't seen it yet.


Do we have to teach you guys how to research EVERYTHING ?????? hahahaha

Urban Dictionary: bicycle seat


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## Boston Irish Lass (Feb 13, 2009)

Sniper said:


> Do we have to teach you guys how to research EVERYTHING ?????? hahahaha
> 
> Urban Dictionary: bicycle seat


Good Lord I wish I could take a bar of soap to my memory bank.


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## NewEngland2007 (Dec 31, 2005)

Sniper said:


> Do we have to teach you guys how to research EVERYTHING ?????? hahahaha
> 
> Urban Dictionary: bicycle seat


I looked it up there, and none of those definitions seemed plausible to me. Urban Dictionary is polluted with definitions of things that just are not THINGS. DAMMIT.


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## Guest (Jul 6, 2009)

Boston Irish Lass said:


> unfuck


That's my little contribution to the MassCops lexicon....I got it from one of my drill sergeants, who used to love to say "Private, you best unfuck yourself pronto".


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## Big.G (Nov 28, 2006)

uzodinma having sand in his vagina is a common problem for people in that region of the world...


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## Boston Irish Lass (Feb 13, 2009)

Delta784 said:


> That's my little contribution to the MassCops lexicon....I got it from one of my drill sergeants, who used to love to say "Private, you best unfuck yourself pronto".


I think the way you had phrased that it stuck with me was that you actually spent most of your time trying to unfuck people's problems. Or something to that effect. All I know is it made me laugh.


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## Andy0921 (Jan 12, 2006)

Sniper said:


> Do we have to teach you guys how to research EVERYTHING ?????? hahahaha
> 
> Urban Dictionary: bicycle seat





> *bicycle smile*
> when a female is riding a bike, usually over rough terrain, and she slides the bike seat into her VJ. this will result in a smile on her face and an odd musk on the bike seat


:L:


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## Boston Irish Lass (Feb 13, 2009)

Quote:
*bicycle smile*
when a female is riding a bike, usually over rough terrain, and she slides the bike seat into her VJ. this will result in a smile on her face and an odd musk on the bike seat



Andy0921 said:


> :L:


And to think my confessions used to be so simple.

Ok, I was trying to ignore that and simply pretend I hadn't read it the FIRST time I clicked on the link. And forgive me for being the crass tart here, but, how else exactly does one sit on a bike seat? Genuinely? There's no place else for Area 51 to go BUT on the bike seat. What was odd was the definitions of the people who SNIFF the seats after. That's a nutjob.


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## Sam1974 (Apr 8, 2009)

Sniper said:


> and BTW Sam........... the title is Mail Bag, not BALL GAG...... don't want you sparkin up the 2-Stroke gas powered dildo for nothing !!!!


that's ok sniper. if i have told you once, I'll tell you 10 BILLION times, I will not be your girlfriend. You have this sick and twisted desire for me to do naughty things to your bum. I'm sorry but it's just the way it has to be.. I will NOT strap one on and drill you with my 2-stroke gas powered dildo..
Sorry man.. get over it.. 
Go ask someone else to forfill your sick demented fantasies...


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## Kilvinsky (Jan 15, 2007)

Nuke_TRT said:


> Dear Mr. Uzodinma.
> 
> I am Mr. Nuke_TRT, I work in the Accounts/ Operations Department of a Prime banks here in Masscops.
> 
> ...


Very Funny, but your grammer was just too damn good. Every one of those damn things that I've gotten has been so poorly written it's as though this person composing it barely made it out of 3rd grade. Sure I know English is probably not their first language (though in Nigeria, it IS one of the accepted languages) but COME ON! If the clowns want to be convincing as some high ranking whatever, at least put some real effort into the language!



Sam1974 said:


> that's ok sniper. if i have told you once, I'll tell you 10 BILLION times, I will not be your girlfriend. You have this sick and twisted desire for me to do naughty things to your bum. I'm sorry but it's just the way it has to be.. I will NOT strap one on and drill you with my 2-stroke gas powered dildo..
> Sorry man.. get over it..
> Go ask someone else to forfill your sick demented fantasies...


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## cmagryan (Dec 15, 2004)

Boston Irish Lass said:


> I'd never heard/read it until reading it here. Add to that:
> 
> GFY
> Baggadoosh (my favorite)
> ...


- You see, I was blessed to work with a man whose grasp of creative vulgarity was unmatched. Thank you, NT, for those invaluable life lessons.


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## Nighttrain (Dec 10, 2004)

Look where it got me! Plus, that was always a group effort. We still on for tomorrow?


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## cmagryan (Dec 15, 2004)

- We be! Just ask 5-0!


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## kwflatbed (Dec 29, 2004)

Fra and Medic can not make it anyone else from the southcoast
going that I can bum a ride from ??


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## Nightstalker (Jul 25, 2006)

kttref said:


> BTW - why do all you MA people say "fuckstick"? I had never heard it until last week.


Fuckstick - A prototypical "look at me don't you think I am cool" dipshit with a shaved head, Oakley sunglasses, backwards black baseball cap, goatee, Hurley or Fox clothes who drives an obnoxiously lifted F-150 with an oversized No Fear or Fox sticker on the back window. Typically, these losers work in construction or some sort of manual labor job because they are too stupid to attend college. These tards are attention hogs who pull out every poser stop to get it by reminding everyone all the time how great they are, and constantly out-buying friends and neighbors for the best dirt bike, quad or toy hauler. They spend countless weekends drunk at the "river" or in the "sands" but when it comes to real sports these fat bellied dolts can't even hit a ball out of the infield. They can be seen sporting one or more tattoos written in old English script while ethnic versions of these idiots sport an iron cross logo completely clueless to the original meaning. They will generally refer to you as bro and or boss and treat everyone as if trying to sell them a used car. 
There goes Mr. FOX Racing. That fuckstick is doing 60 down a residental street in his lame-ass F-150 blasting rap music.


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## Boston Irish Lass (Feb 13, 2009)

USMCMP5811 said:


> And all the girls say, I'm pretty fly for a white guy....
> 
> http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4YDqdEEx2hE/SZ3KmS9waqI/AAAAAAAAAEI/3mKK1rLp-9w/s320/******-15513.jpg


Lord Almighty does that REALLY say thuglife on his stomache? He looks like the eejit I saw at the gas station from the _mean streets of Tewksbury_ who explained what the seat being back so far meant.

And what is that letter I symbol? A carrot?

For the record I don't mind the backwards baseball cap, it's when they turn it to the side that I think they are complete dolts.


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## Big.G (Nov 28, 2006)

Boston Irish Lass said:


> And what is that letter I symbol? A carrot?


A joint...


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## Nighttrain (Dec 10, 2004)

Nightstalker said:


> Fuckstick - A prototypical "look at me don't you think I am cool" dipshit with a shaved head, Oakley sunglasses, backwards black baseball cap, goatee, Hurley or Fox clothes who drives an obnoxiously lifted F-150 with an oversized No Fear or Fox sticker on the back window. Typically, these losers work in construction or some sort of manual labor job because they are too stupid to attend college. These tards are attention hogs who pull out every poser stop to get it by reminding everyone all the time how great they are, and constantly out-buying friends and neighbors for the best dirt bike, quad or toy hauler. They spend countless weekends drunk at the "river" or in the "sands" but when it comes to real sports these fat bellied dolts can't even hit a ball out of the infield. They can be seen sporting one or more tattoos written in old English script while ethnic versions of these idiots sport an iron cross logo completely clueless to the original meaning. They will generally refer to you as bro and or boss and treat everyone as if trying to sell them a used car.
> There goes Mr. FOX Racing. That fuckstick is doing 60 down a residental street in his lame-ass F-150 blasting rap music.


You had me at oversized Fox sticker. That definition is spot on.


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## OfficerObie59 (Sep 14, 2007)

kttref said:


> BTW - why do all you MA people say "fuckstick"? I had never heard it until last week.


 That's also been popularized by movies like "Bad Santa":

[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iS9msSwPDuk"]YouTube- Bad Santa - Fuck stick[/nomedia]


Boston Irish Lass said:


> I'd never heard/read it until reading it here. Add to that:
> 
> GFY
> Baggadoosh (my favorite)
> ...


 Don't forget my personal favorite:

ASSHAT


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## Guest (Jul 6, 2009)

Boston Irish Lass said:


> I think the way you had phrased that it stuck with me was that you actually spent most of your time trying to unfuck people's problems. Or something to that effect. All I know is it made me laugh.


I do spend most of my work hours doing that.

Now, if I can just get someone else to unfuck *my* problems......


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## Boston Irish Lass (Feb 13, 2009)

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Boston Irish Lass*  
_And what is that letter I symbol? A carrot?_



resqjyw0 said:


> A joint...


Oh wow. That's hysterical. I tossed it around in the brain for a while and I dont know what HE thinks it looks like, but I thought it was a carrot. Still do. Got quite the good laugh thinking about him being one of the tough guys from the Mahoney's Plant and Garden gang.


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## Johnny Law (Aug 8, 2008)

Boston Irish Lass said:


> For the record I don't mind the backwards baseball cap, it's when they turn it to the side that I think they are complete dolts.


I like to turn mine backwards so the brim doesn't bump the scope of my rifle whilst I take aim at the fucksticks.


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## Boston Irish Lass (Feb 13, 2009)

mtc said:


> You could really have fun with the dolt and tell him it looks like a tampon!
> 
> Boston - What WAS the kids reasoning for driving while lying down? (I've always wondered)


This explanantion is my understanding/interpretation of what was said. You would have actually needed a White Ebonics Wannabe dictionary to hear it from his own words.

He told me so that when (not even IF) the driver was to get shot at then the bridge frame between the windows would deflect it and give them a better shot at getting away from certain death. Unfortunately it was one of those times where my lips started talking before receiving approval from the brain and I said "But, it's TEWKSBURY" with a disgusted look on my face.

And not being bad or nothing, but you could just TELL he was from Tewksbury. Complete with sideways ballcap. I'm sure that situation might apply if you lived in say, Compton, but I don't think cruising down rte 38 puts your life in jeopardy. Maybe I've a blind eye towards the true crime here but I don't think so.


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## NewEngland2007 (Dec 31, 2005)

mtc said:


> You could really have fun with the dolt and tell him it looks like a tampon!


Tampax Street Gang. They'll eff you up pretty bad for a few days. Of course, when you don't see them for a while, you're really in trouble.


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## Guest (Jul 6, 2009)

NewEngland2007 said:


> Tampax Street Gang. They'll eff you up pretty bad for a few days. Of course, when you don't see them for a while, you're really in trouble.


Maybe they are the new "bloods"....... hahahaha


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## Johnny Law (Aug 8, 2008)

NewEngland2007 said:


> Tampax Street Gang. They'll eff you up pretty bad for a few days. Of course, when you don't see them for a while, you're really in trouble.


I don't know NE, have you heard of the Retarded Street Gang? They were gonna eff up Larry the Cable Guy.

[nomedia]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOrVoSGZnXA[/nomedia]


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## Kilvinsky (Jan 15, 2007)

mtc said:


> You could really have fun with the dolt and tell him it looks like a tampon!
> 
> Boston - What WAS the kids reasoning for driving while lying down? (I've always wondered)


That was what I thought it was, a bloo...*damn* TAMPON! Carrots are tool cool for that tool!



NewEngland2007 said:


> Tampax Street Gang. They'll eff you up pretty bad for a few days. Of course, when you don't see them for a while, you're really in trouble.


The gang motto, "We'll cramp your style, one week every month, MOTHERFU#*%$!"


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## KozmoKramer (Apr 25, 2004)

Kilvinsky said:


> The gang motto, "We'll cramp your style, one week every month, MOTHERFU#*%$!"


 :L: :L:


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## Foxracingmtnridr (Feb 23, 2003)

Hey guys don't fucking swear, those jiihadists will kill the site to get to their 72 Virgins.

72 virgins..... how do they find that many?


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## Nuke_TRT (Feb 10, 2008)

Foxracingmtnridr said:


> 72 virgins..... how do they find that many?


Ever see some of their women folk? #-o


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## Nuke_TRT (Feb 10, 2008)

There is a reason they cover em.


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## Foxracingmtnridr (Feb 23, 2003)

Nuke_TRT said:


> Ever see some of their women folk? #-o


No I haven't they're all covered


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## NewEngland2007 (Dec 31, 2005)

There is a + side to life draped in a curtain: nobody can see you pulling a face every time you look at your men folk and their ridiculous facial hair.


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## Boston Irish Lass (Feb 13, 2009)

NewEngland2007 said:


> There is a + side to life draped in a curtain: nobody can see you pulling a face every time you look at your men folk and their ridiculous facial hair.


:shifty: very good NE. And don't forget, no bad hair days or worrying about having your face sorted before stepping out.


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## NewEngland2007 (Dec 31, 2005)

LOL, when life gives you burkas, make burka-nade! What's up with the latex gloves there by the way? Maybe they've all got bondage gear under their burkas and are only pretending to be subs.


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## Johnny Law (Aug 8, 2008)

NewEngland2007 said:


> LOL, when life gives you burkas, make burka-nade! What's up with the latex gloves there by the way? Maybe they've all got bondage gear under their burkas and are only pretending to be subs.


Keeeeee-racckkkkk!


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## Kilvinsky (Jan 15, 2007)

STOP YOU PEOPLE...you're making me laugh too hard.\\/


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