# Women's Saftey In Boston



## mp2 (Jan 20, 2009)

Hi all,

Long story short is, my girlfriend will be living with me over the summer and I am concerned about her safety. We are trying to find a place to sublet during the months of May-August, hopefully somewhere close to the MBTA. She has a part time a babysitting job in Cambridge (near Central station on the red line) and the hours can vary from noon to as late as 11PM.

I have a 7:30AM-4PM Mon-Fri job so I will not be able to drive her everywhere as I originally wanted. I am currently in the process of applying for an FID (unrelated to this situation).

I have come to find out that you need an FID to carry around mace or pepper spray, which I find extremely odd. She is a non-MA resident and I've heard it is very hard to get an FID in Boston being a non-resident, not to mention the many weeks it will take to get approved, by which the summer will already be over.

I know this is a police forum and everyone here looks down on people who break laws but I have seriously considered buying her mace or pepper spray and giving it to her for her to carry around depsite her not having a license. Personally I think the increased saftey outwighs the laws, however I still would like some feed back on this idea... just how terrible is it?

She is a small girl, 5'5" and <125lb. She is 19, and we both attend college here in the city. She is orginally from a farm in upper NY so she really doesn't have a concept of the dangers of the city. She is what you might call petite and (I am not trying to brag but) she is quite attracive. To the point where she went outisde yesterday in a tank top, jeans and heels and had a man in a car slow down next to her while she was walking on the side walk and he made rather lewd comments. Situations like this have happened before.

My concern is confounded by the fact that just last week we were on the BMTA going to see the USS Constitution and as we were getting off the train a man grabbed and squeezed her butt. She didn't tell me imeaditly and when she did tell me, she had to seriously restrain me from going back into the station, finding the guy, and seriously hurting him. Which I know I would have done. Again, I know cops don't like to hear this, but this is how it is. I am very protective of her.

I am concerned about her safety, epically at night and around or on the MBTA. I am looking for suggestions as to how to keep her safe. Thank you for your time.


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## mpr4601 (Mar 24, 2007)

To properly evaluate the level of danger she may be in, we'll need several photographs from multiple angles. I know, it sounds strange, but it's true.


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## kttref (Oct 5, 2004)

Tell her to take a self-defense class. If you're worried because of all the hype from that nut-job killer dude...unless your girl is selling her services on craigslist - I wouldn't be concerned. 

Another option. Tell her to dress crappier. Wearing a tank top/jeans/heals is gonna draw looks. Tell her to wear a t-shirt/baggy jeans/sneakers. Plus wearing sneakers will help her run away IF someone is truly out to get her. 

Otherwise, just tell her to get used to it. It's a city, shit happens.


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## RodneyFarva (Jan 18, 2007)

kttref said:


> Tell her to take a self-defense class..


Several police Dept in the Metrowest offer a program called RAD
RadSelfDefense.com - Self-Defense Options for Women and Children


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## Goose (Dec 1, 2004)

FID cards are shall issue...LTC is may (and in the case of Boston - hell no we won't) issue.


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## Guest (May 1, 2009)

mpr4601 said:


> To properly evaluate the level of danger she may be in, we'll need several photographs from multiple angles. I know, it sounds strange, but it's true.


You beat me to it mpr. Isn't there a specific Boston Cirty ordinance for that? mp2, while you post the pix we will research the laws for you. Thank you in advance.


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## Guest (May 1, 2009)

mtc said:


> Above ALL else, keep her AWAY from Snipe!!


Hey. I give good "friends and family" and "BOGO" coupons........


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## NewEngland2007 (Dec 31, 2005)

It's up to her to protect herself by taking a self defense class and not dressing in a way that provokes attention. There's not a woman alive, good looking or not so good looking, who hasn't been perved on by some guy on the street or in a car passing by. I'm getting a strong feeling that you view her as a trophy you don't want anybody else to get their fingerprints all over.


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## kttref (Oct 5, 2004)

NewEngland2007 said:


> I'm getting a strong feeling that you view her as a trophy you don't want anybody else to get their fingerprints all over.


To bad that ain't gonna happen. Besides, there isn't a girl out there that should be seen as a trophy....other than me. Here is proof:


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## mp2 (Jan 20, 2009)

Once again, thanks for the serious replies, I will discuss them with her and see what she thinks. 

As for the other comments, I suspected there would a few of you to come out woods and show your true colors. Figures, I can't expect all cops to be helpful or professional. Typical. 

For the record, is was her who brought the whole safety issue up.


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## adroitcuffs (Jun 3, 2006)

mp2 said:


> Once again, thanks for the serious replies, I will discuss them with her and see what she thinks.
> 
> As for the other comments, I suspected there would a few of you to come out woods and show your true colors. Figures, I can't expect all cops to be helpful or professional. Typical.
> 
> For the record, is was her who brought the whole safety issue up.


Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to. Can't expect all cops to be helpful or professional, eh? You come to a law enforcement forum and ask for advice on violating the law (unlawful carry, street justice assault, etc.) and you want us to handle you with kid gloves? I'll refrain from being completely human here and laughing hysterically at you and your insults.


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## Guest (May 2, 2009)

I assume that because she could 'restrain' you from going back on 'da bus to open up a can of college whoop-ass, that she can probably handle herself. I know that if I made up my mind to do something, my wife would be a speed bump.

You really want to keep her safe? Buy her a copy of 'The Gift of Fear' by Gavin DeBeckr. Read it, and make 'reading people' a hobby. If she is the size that you say, and hasn't been active in self-defense, don't bother wasting your time now. Learn the psychology of predators, and help her become a less appealing target. If you really have to do self defense (My personal opinion is that 3 day classes for women do more harm than good), train with a good Krav Maga school. I think that the system has the fastest learning curve, along with common sense techniques and realistic training methods. We will need pictures to analyze the best possible self-defense options for her.


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## NewEngland2007 (Dec 31, 2005)

Yes yes yes!!! _The Gift of Fear_ is one of the best books I've ever read.


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## Sam1974 (Apr 8, 2009)

Being a woman and working all over the New England/NY areas, I've been grabbed and groped by freaks before. She needs to learn how defend herself in a quick and easy way. I've used my car keys as a weapon and punched a couple guys in the hyoid bone quite a few times in the last 5 years. I don't always work in the best areas and a lot of times it is a night time home visit to evaluate or work with a dog. 
If I hadn't grown up with primarily guy friends, an older brother and played hockey with guys, i wouldn't have known how to defend myself and god knows what would have happened to me. This world is NOT a safe place and crime happens everywhere. Get her the book, make her read it and tell her to stop dressing like a street walker. Who the HELL wears jeans and heels in 2009? That look went out with the 80's! If you dress a certain way, people assume you ARE that way.. so the unwanted attention is her fault and yours for encouraging her to dress that way.
I have NO pitty for those who create a situation and then bitch about it after the fact!


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## rg1283 (Sep 14, 2005)

One of the most important things about personal safety is that unless you are the Police. Don't get involved. 

Defend yourself enough to move away from the threat . That simple.


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## Rooster Cogburn (Mar 23, 2009)

There are many legal issues but there is only one law. Natural law! Do unto them before they do unto you. Law enforce does a fantastic job with the resource they have. You have to take personal safety seriously. Dress appropriately and carry a big gun.


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## L4G81 (Nov 12, 2006)

Tell her to get her FID card and get a little bottle of mase. She'll be fine.


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## Guest (May 3, 2009)

mp2 said:


> I am concerned about her safety . . .I am looking for suggestions as to how to keep her safe.


I am also worried about her safety. To keep her safe I suggest that she run the f*ck away from you as soon and as far as possible because you seem like a real controlling SOB. She should also move to a town where she can get a Class A License to Carry so that when you come stalking her -- and c'mon, we know it'll be just a matter of time before you hunt her down like a deer during hunting season -- she can fully defend herself against you.


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