# Surviving the Job--Are YOU Going To Make It?



## Big.G (Nov 28, 2006)

*Emotional Survival*

*Updated*: December 3rd, 2007 05:18 AM EDT
*SGT. SUSAN GRANT*
*Women in Policing Contributor*
_Officer.com_

As you are reading this you are probably saying, "Oh no, she wants to talk about her 'emotions' again; must be that time of the month." But really, persevere, this one's important, not only to your emotional wellbeing but to your family and your job.

Have you ever read _Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement_ by Kevin Gilmartin? Brilliant book! If you have anywhere from eight to 25 years or more of service at your police department, it is a must read. You will see yourself or one of your colleagues on each and every page. One officer was quoted as saying "If you want to make it through to retirement, wear your vest, wait for your backup, and read Gilmartin's book."

Look around your organization. Can you spot the officers who not coping well with the emotional side of their career? Let me give you some hints.

Feels the service has injured them through lack of fairness
Can recite all the wrongful acts that "admin" has done over the past 15-20 years
Distrusts everyone in a management role
Perceives victimization from public and the media --feels they are being persecuted
Life dominated by negativity
Or have you heard comments such as these from some of your colleagues? (These are good ones from Gilmartin's book)

_"I usta bust my ass for these people, but not anymore. I discovered a long time ago the more you do, the more they screw with you. I pulled my horns in long ago." _
_"The door ain't going to hit me in the ass. I mean it, you just watch, fifteen more years and I'm the hell out of here."_
​This negativity looks way worse on a female than it does on a male. Emotionally we tolerate and almost expect more negativity from the male species. Traditionally females are more cooperative, willing and helpful, and some would get walked over like a doormat before they'd say anything. So this emotional transformation that occurs in some of our officers is even more obvious in a female because it is simply unexpected.

So what happens during the time when a young, idealistic, energetic officer comes into our organizations and leaves an angry, cynical, unhealthy old man/woman? Well, dealing with the five percent of the world that commits crimes, beats each other, and rapes women and children on a daily basis tends to wear you down a bit. In fact, you tend not to trust anyone anymore. After awhile we tend to lose the compassion that attracted us to this career. We become dissatisfied with work, minor things become major things, and we feel a lack of control because we can't "fix" the problems in society.

We've all seen them, the eight- to ten- year officer with a chip on their shoulder, caught in endless conflict both internally and externally at work, and maybe even at home. Given time, everything in their life starts to break down, including their marriage. This type of negative attitude can work its way through your organization like a cancer. Gilmartin explains that officers who are not dealing well emotionally may start getting into trouble and find themselves in front of internal investigations. He goes on to say that these officers are actually good people and they don't go out and purposefully do something wrong. They go out and stop doing something right. It's more of an act of omission rather than the commission of an offense. They even start to rationalize behavior they would not have previously accepted in themselves. 

"If they don't care, why should I?"
"I answer my calls. That's all I get paid to do."
"You never get in trouble for a traffic stop you didn't make."
Full Article:

http://www.officer.com/web/online/Police-Life/Surviving-the-Job--Are-YOU-Going-To-Make-It/17$39137

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Harry


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## Guest (Dec 4, 2007)

resqjyw0 said:


> Look around your organization. Can you spot the officers who not coping well with the emotional side of their career? Let me give you some hints.
> 
> Feels the service has injured them through lack of fairness
> Can recite all the wrongful acts that "admin" has done over the past 15-20 years
> ...


That describes just about everyone I work with.


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## ArchAngel2 (Oct 11, 2005)

:l: :l:


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## emerlad (Nov 15, 2007)

Funny thing about this career is I really DON'T think it's the people you deal with from the street that causes this attitude. Most of the ones I deal with stink, that's their job, I knew it coming into the position. It's the administration that does not do the right thing that blindsides you. These folks are supposed to be up front and honest... They have just as much an agenda as the guy on the street. This CJ field blows at times. Other times it's been good, I think.


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## sdb29 (Jul 17, 2002)

Delta784 said:


> That describes just about everyone I work with.


Yeah me too. does she mean to imply that there are department's that AREN'T like that?


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## j809 (Jul 5, 2002)

sdb29 said:


> Yeah me too. does she mean to imply that there are department's that AREN'T like that?


 Nothing like that at our place.


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## chief801 (Dec 8, 2004)

j809 said:


> Nothing like that at our place.


C'mon now, we have our moments..., but like most other places it usually comes from a lack of communication, misunderstanding, or goal incongruence. What makes it all work is two sides that are willing to bend. If either the administration or the union digs in, nobody wins. I've said it for years, we all have a great gig if we'd just stop pissing on each other. Unfortunately, most of us classify someone with a different method or goal as an asshole and everything we don't agree with as bullshit!

Count how many times in your career you've said either "He's an asshole" or "This is bullshit". If you think about it, it is always the other guy who is an asshole and what he wants is bullshit...its never us! I can be an asshole...and sometimes I spout bullshit. Knowing that, I can understand that others do the same. No reason to get mad, that's just the way it is. Once you can figure that out, the job is easy. Checks come every other week and the retirement is good. That's how I survive...17 down, 15 to go for the magic 80%!


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## mpd61 (Aug 7, 2002)

j809 said:


> Nothing like that at our place.


I am soooo jealous of you. With people like Jack and the Chief around, I can't see you going anyplace else.
 
BTW, I miss working with you stud!


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## Kem25 (Aug 7, 2007)

This article describes a guy I work with perfectly. This co-worker is so angry at everything and everybody. I can remember my first day when he told me...You better take that protective plate from the front of your vest and put it in the back when your in this station".....I give him like two more years before he gets so mad his head just pops clear off!


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## dcs2244 (Jan 29, 2004)

chief801 said:


> C'mon now, we have our moments..., but like most other places it usually comes from a lack of communication, misunderstanding, or goal incongruence...


Chief, you have a point...but "goal incongruence"? It's getting a little thick in here...somebody open Johari's Window and let in some fresh air! 
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## chief801 (Dec 8, 2004)

dcs2244 said:


> Chief, you have a point...but "goal incongruence"? It's getting a little thick in here...somebody open Johari's Window and let in some fresh air!
> </IMG>


Sorry, I was in teacher mode...but I am impressed by the Johari reference...someone paid attention in class! Did you sit in the front row?


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## dcs2244 (Jan 29, 2004)

Nah, I'm just a repository for knowledge...nothing conscious on my part...I am forbidden in most jurisdictions from playing "Trivial Pursuit" (kinda like card counters and casinos).

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