# My Dad's a Cop!



## kwflatbed (Dec 29, 2004)

*My Dad's a Cop!*

*Growing up the offspring of the heat ain't easy*

*MELODIE SWAN
Police Life Contributor*
_Officer.com_

_I knew this day was inevitable, but it came much sooner than I expected. He's just begun kindergarten and has already whipped out the big guns. 
Today while volunteering at my son's school, I stayed inside to help the teacher clean up after the craft while the kids went outside for recess. Afterward, I wandered out to the playground to watch my son play one last time before I had to head back to work. He and his new friends were running around like madmen--normal 5-year-old-boy stuff. And then it happened. The boys started yelling things like, "I'm Superman and I'll get you," followed by, "Oh yeah? I'm the world's strongest man and I can beat that," followed by my son with, "Oh yeah? My dad's a puhleeece man and he can ARREST you!" 
I can just imagine what other "puhleeece" stuff is coming out in the classroom--and waiting for the day I get a call from a curious teacher asking about a story my son told about handcuffs at home or something._ 
--Renee, blogger at LAPD Wife.com ​
_Gary was working undercover in narcotics when our girls were little. For her sixth birthday, I threw Amanda every little girl's dream party--a princess-themed party. Dressed in her pink chiffon dress and sparkly tiara, my daughter excitedly answered the door as each guest arrived and then led them back to our "Fairytale Land" patio. Her glee abruptly turned to sorrow when she ran too late to the door and saw one of her little friends being led away by her father. "No kid of mine is goin' in that house," we heard the father mutter. My grungy-looking "drug dealer" husband had answered the door._ 
--Laura, married to Gary, a 17-year veteran​There's no doubt about it, our kids are different, their lives significantly impacted by their cop parent's profession. Growing up in a police family, they bear the effects of shift work and long hours, including some degree of disconnection from their officer parent. Most cop kids start life relatively unaffected by their parent's profession. To the young cop cub, Santa comes the night before his dad is off duty to celebrate the holiday, and Thanksgiving tastes just as good the week before or after his classmates have enjoyed theirs. He's never known it any differently. But as he matures, he encounters more challenging issues. Because of his vicarious exposure to police work, he develops an almost nagging awareness of the consequences of others' misfortunes and misdeeds. Oftentimes overprotected, the cop kid's behavior and choices are expected to be above reproach, especially in public. And, though he may begin life proudly proclaiming that his dad is a cop, parental instruction or playground jabs eventually teach him to keep things under wraps. 
*On a leash *
My 17-year-old daughter, Mara, is quick to acknowledge that she was overprotected as a child. "I was always on a short leash," she laments. Recalling an example, she goes on to remind me about a time when, at age seven, she and her friend rode their new bikes just a block over and a little way up the hill from our house on the afternoon of New Year's Eve. "We probably weren't gone ten minutes before we saw Dad driving around the corner and coming up the hill. He rolled down his window and was all mad, saying, 'You don't know how many crazies are out on this day!' " 
I asked brother and sister Ryan and Rachel, ages 13 and 10, if they've experienced this kind of thing. These seasoned cop kids' parents both work in law enforcement. Their dad's post as a sergeant for a city department has definitely had an impact on them, but it's their mother, a juvenile probation officer, who has made them aware of what can happen to kids who wind up in the wrong place at the wrong time. Her firsthand knowledge of child pornography cases has been the impetus behind her strictness about things like their Internet involvement. "We aren't allowed on places like MySpace," Rachel told me. 
Sarah-Elizabeth Stüdenraith, a blogger at rottentomatoes.com, breaks down the irony of higher expectation of the cop kid by explaining, "Sure, we've got it good if someone ever wrongs us. If a boy ever hurt me, every cop in the nation would be after his hide. But if we ourselves get in trouble, we're getting it ten times worse than the other kid because the police _know_ we know better." 
My daughter summarizes the messages she received as a child with this axiom: "Behave. You never know when Dad's friends will be watching." 
*Offspring of the heat *
Most cop kids learn through hard knocks and parental instruction that it's neither wise nor appropriate to throw their weight around, and that disclosing their parent's occupation could jeopardize the officer's safety and privacy. As the experienced recipient of prejudice and misconception, my teenaged daughter has learned that it's easiest not to tell all but her closest friends that her dad's a cop. Sometimes, however, she can't resist. The last kid she heard talking smack about cops got an earful from her when she asked, "Have you ever been hit by a drunk driver?" Of course the kid told her, "no." She then nailed him with, "Well, the next time you see my dad you can _thank_ him!" 
Sixth and eighth graders Rachel and Ryan are beyond the age of innocence, too. They say their parents' vocation is having increasing impact on their interactions with peers. Both pointed to incidents when other kids have tried to talk them into doing things they know are wrong. "We'll be hanging out, and one of my friends will want to 'tag' (spray-paint graffiti on) a building or something. I'll be like, 'You can't do that, it's wrong, it's illegal,' " says Ryan, a handsome boy with tousled blonde hair and his dad's strong jaw line. This usually provokes further challenge and ends with the other kid taunting, "You're just talking big--just hiding behind your parents' profession." Rachel points to another common scenario she'll encounter: A friend will do something wrong then nervously ask, "Are you gonna tell your parents?" 
Rachel and Ryan have learned to walk away when they feel that "gut check." At the same time, they're able to use every opportunity to dispel some of the image myths by projecting a positive picture of the police. 
"No, I won't tell my parents," Rachel says. "But if I did, it would be to _help_ you, not to get you in trouble." Something's working right for these kids. They're smart, mature, poised and well-adjusted. Their mom observes that the relational skills they've honed have made them more sensitive to others and better able to handle sticky situations. I suspect that's true of many "puhleeece" kids. If yours are among them, consider yourself fortunate and give yourself a pat on the back.

*Web Links:* 
LAPD Wife Sarah-Elizabeth Stüdenraith at Rotten Tomatoes.com 









 
_Married for over 20 years to a police officer, *Melodie Swan* lives in a small city in the western U.S. She met her husband while working as a civilian for another local agency, and their blended family consists of two daughters--one grown and married and one teen at home. A singer since early childhood, Melodie uses her talent to sing a tribute song for police funerals and other law enforcement functions. She works for a large local church._


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## Officer Dunngeon (Aug 16, 2002)

HA, I just saw this now for the first time... sorry, but I couldn't resist!



kwflatbed said:


> *My Dad's a Cop!*


Hmmm, this reminds me of someone...

_



"Oh yeah? My dad's a puhleeece man and he can ARREST you!" 

Click to expand...

_How many times would you bet that's been said (like, in the past week)? __



> There's no doubt about it, our kids are different, their lives significantly impacted by their cop parent's profession. Growing up in a police family, they bear the effects of shift work and long hours, including some *degree of disconnection* from their officer parent.


Just from the parent or from reality altogether?



> Oftentimes overprotected, *the cop kid's behavior and choices are expected to be above reproach*, especially in public. And, *though he may begin life proudly proclaiming that his dad is a cop, parental instruction or playground jabs eventually teach him to keep things under wraps. *


You'd a thunk he'd have learned by now!



> Her firsthand knowledge of child pornography cases has been the impetus behind her strictness about things like *their Internet involvement.* *"We aren't allowed on places like MySpace,"* Rachel told me.


Needs more parental supervision!!!



> *"...But if we ourselves get in trouble, we're getting it ten times worse than the other kid because the police know we know better."
> "Behave. You never know when Dad's friends will be watching."
> *


How I wish both were true... 

*



Most cop kids learn through hard knocks and parental instruction that it's neither wise nor appropriate to throw their weight around, and that disclosing their parent's occupation could jeopardize the officer's safety and privacy.

Click to expand...

*Again, he just never seems to catch on...

*



At the same time, they're able to use every opportunity to dispel some of the image myths by projecting a positive picture of the police.

Click to expand...

*Ummm... not in this kid's case!



> Something's working right for these kids. They're smart, mature, poised and well-adjusted. If yours are among them, consider yourself fortunate and give yourself a pat on the back.


Unless you're from Marlborough!


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## JoninNH (Jan 29, 2004)

Officer Dunngeon said:


> Unless you're from Marlborough!


ROTFL!!!!!


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2006)

> "We aren't allowed on places like MySpace"


Do you know how many sons/daughters of police officers that have myspace? That is a joke.

Go ahead and make fun of me all you want. Guys have said they use this place to vent, well so do I. You guys don't like what I have to say, well that is what my experiences of sitting back and watching have become.


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## DODK911 (May 21, 2003)

This was good, I really like it. It is very true about how we watch over our kids more then most, but thats because all we see is sh*tty people everyday. I have a daughter almost 9 and I feel bad for her when she gets older because I'm a DAD and no one will hurt or what ever my daughter, not on my watch. But it's funny about the my dads a COP thing my daughter will tell everyone, no matter where we are that Im a Cop and I have to tell her that she can't tell everybody that, and she always asks why, so I have to tell her that not everybody likes police officers and she just doesnt understand. But thats the world we live in today. Any ways its a great story. Stay Safe.


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## SOT (Jul 30, 2004)

You are an absolute dipshit.



djgj200 said:


> Do you know how many sons/daughters of police officers that have myspace? That is a joke.
> 
> Go ahead and make fun of me all you want. Guys have said they use this place to vent, well so do I. You guys don't like what I have to say, well that is what my experiences of sitting back and watching have become.


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## DoD102 (Sep 9, 2004)

Good article. I agree, our kids grow up wiser to the ways of the world. I don't hide what goes on out there from my kids. I try to make it all a learining experience. And yes, their social skills are better than most, and they tend to handle those tough spots better. We must be doing something right I guess.  Be proud that those of you with kids are raising them right. Be safe, and keep them safe too.


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## dcs2244 (Jan 29, 2004)

I hate to burst the "cop bubble", but it is not just cops' kids' that garner special attention. My dad was a teacher, in a town that my family had been resident's/"community pillar's" of for approximately 200 years. The main theme of my upbringing was to not embarrass the family name. It was the same for my cousin...both his parents were teachers (we were classmates, different branches of the same family). We were accused of being above the "law" as teachers kids...when the opposite was true: heck, my dad knew I "effed-up" before I did!

In any event, any child of an authority figure (cop, teacher, preacher or pol) is going to attract extra attention/scrutiny from the lemmings and "The Man".

My advise to those of you who welp: stealth living. Tell your kids to shut-up. "Mickey-the-Dunce". My parents spoke of many things at the dinner table, subjects that involved rumors/innuendoes about their peer (and not-so-peer) group: dinner table conversation was like Las Vegas...what was said at the dinner table, stayed at the dinner table. My brother and I knew many things about the inner workings of the school system (union stuff and kid stuff...and effed-up teacher stuff) but we did not talk about it to others.

I met and dated a girl in college...her father was in organized crime ( a book )...her upbringing was similar to mine: shut-up and play "Mickey-the-Dunce" when questioned. No one knew what her dad "did", except that he owned a bar. So it's not just cops...as much as we like to think we're special.


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