# Proposed Police Award Ribbons



## Guest (Jan 5, 2011)

I went to work the other night, and some prankster had put up a notice on the bulletin board, on what looked like official letterhead, with "Proposed Award Citations" as the title. There was then a list of "awards", with an image of a military award ribbon next to each one.....I was laughing hysterically when I was reading it, because it spared no member of the department. I'd love to take credit for this one, but I can't.

The list;

* The Sniveling Bitch Award

* The I Have Young Children, I Shouldn't Have To Work Holidays Award

* The I Write Ten Citations a Month (So I'm a Good Cop) Award

* The I Spent My Entire Career In a Specialty Position Award

* The I'm Good With Numbers Award

* The I Have So Many Days Due, I Don't Work Here Anymore Award

* The I'm Allowed To Make My Own Hours Award

* The I'm Allowed to Do Self Swaps Award

* The I'm Afraid of the Dark Award

* The I Hang Out in the Station to Avoid Police Work Award

* The I Can't Make a Decision, Send a Sergeant Award

* The I Spend More Time and Energy Avoiding Police Work Than It Would Take to Actually Do Police Work Award

* The I Shamelessly Suck Up to Get a Specialty Position Award

* The Send Me More Cars Award

* The I've Never Been On Time To a Detail Award

* The I'm Assigned to Traffic But Don't Do Traffic Functions Award

* The I Take a Personal Day, Then Change It To a Vacation Day Award

* The My Dog Couldn't Find It's Own Tail Award

* The I Tie Myself Up in the Garage/Radio Room Award

* The I Only Work National Grid Details Award

* The I Don't Deserve Refusal Hours Award

* The They Hung Up, I Have Nothing Further/Refused Caller Award

* The I'm Assigned Plainclothes, Don't Give Me Radio Calls Award

* The I Know Every Unit in the City Was Tied Up, But I Bitched About Not Getting My Dinner Break Award


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## TopCop24 (Jul 11, 2005)

That's great, however i'm sure there will be someone who gets their panties in a bunch and files a complaint. Let the invest commence


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## SinePari (Aug 15, 2004)

Delta784 said:


> I was laughing hysterically when I was reading it, because it spared no member of the department.


Oh man, everyone is nailed on that list!


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## niteowl1970 (Jul 7, 2009)

Delta784 said:


> * The They Hung Up, I Have Nothing Further/Refused Caller Award


No comment.. LOL


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## Tuna (Jun 1, 2006)

We have an official looking "Hurt Feelings Report" form being passes around our Dept. I filled it out with another officer's name and passed it in to the Lt. We were pissing our pants laughing.


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## topcop14 (Jul 13, 2004)

We have guys who would have so many of those citation bars they would cover their uniform.


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## mpd61 (Aug 7, 2002)

* I have more experience and qualifications than who they picked for Sgt

only one missing that I could see:tounge_smile:


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## phuzz01 (May 1, 2002)

So which one were you, Bruce?


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## Guest (Jan 6, 2011)

phuzz01 said:


> So which one were you, Bruce?


I've called for a vacation day when I really needed the night off, and when denied I banged in sick, but that's kind of like the award you get for completing basic training.....show me someone in patrol that DOESN'T have that one. I also hang out in the station once in awhile, but I certainly take my calls and make my share of arrests.


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## Guest (Jan 6, 2011)

They should add one The I'm a Sgt. and I can't make a decision award.
One more for all of Delta's efforts. The I'am the chief and I made all the wrong decisions award.


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## Guest (Jan 7, 2011)

Where is the 'I charged my boss with a crime' award?


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## BLUE BLOOD (Aug 31, 2008)

Lets not forget the "I forgot to turn my detail slip in" award, as well as the "GOA" award...
That list is timeless


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## Deuce (Sep 27, 2003)

OCKS said:


> They should add one The I'm a Sgt. and I can't make a decision award.


Kind of the same but different: The "I'm a sgt and I can do what the fuck I want (even though it's wrong)" award..


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