# Dating a Female Cop



## kwflatbed (Dec 29, 2004)

*Is it for you?*

*SGT. SUSAN GRANT
Women in Policing Contributor*
_Officer.com_

I don't date anymore. If I did, my husband would kill me. But I did date, back in the Stone Age, and I have friends who are still on the dating scene, or re-entering the dating scene. But finding a date when you are a policewoman can sometimes prove to be difficult. Unlike policemen, we do not have "badge bunnies" chasing us. There aren't men out there just waiting to marry a policewoman so she can take care of him. You see, women love men in uniform; it is masculine and authoritative, courageous and strong. Women in the same uniform carry similar qualities, which usually aren't considered attractive qualities for a female-unless you are wearing a nurse's uniform rather than a police one. Regardless, it takes a special kind of man to become involved with a policewoman.

As a female police officer there are a host of considerations that cross our mind that the average female wouldn't think of when dating someone for the first time. Does he have a criminal record? Is there a photo of him at the police station? Does he do drugs? Does he drink and drive? These are first or second date thoughts for us. Where the average woman would be thinking; "Does he work out? Does he have money? Does he have a hot car?" Well, we wonder if he has a hot car, too, but it means something entirely different in our world.

A police officer girlfriend of mine was dating this really nice guy for approximately six months, when she went to try some cookies that were in his freezer. He freaked out at her when she opened the tub to grab a few. Apparently the cookies were not for common consumption, but were a party item with an extra-special ingredient called "hash." She had no idea he did drugs. So ended that relationship, and made her extra vigilant towards such activity the next time. Ever wonder why a lot of cops marry each other? This, among other reasons, is definitely why. Cops come with a basic set of values (at least they are hired with them), which gives you a common starting point as a couple. It is assumed, and for the most part true, that your police date will not be using drugs-a "given," if you will.

Regardless of the drug issue or the drinking issue or, heaven forbid, a tendency towards violence, it is very difficult to date a policewoman, and that is why it takes a special man. Why, you ask? Well, if you find emotional softness or weakness attractive, you won't get much of that from us. I don't mean we are robots, we do cry when we need to, but we are desensitized to a lot of things; we have to be for our job. If our nail breaks or the heel of our shoe falls off, we're okay with that. If you are looking for someone to "take care of," well, you may need to look elsewhere. Most policewomen are fairly independent and can take care of themselves. But be prepared-if you date a policewoman you will have to get used to comments such as; "Do you use her handcuffs in bed? Did she strip search you yet?" Or, my personal favorite; "Can she take care of my speeding ticket for me?" We never tire of these (yeah, right), but you might.

Dating a policewoman also comes with several other consequences: missing parties, birthdays and Christmases due to shift work, the danger of the job itself, and the fact that she is working with a lot of other men. Those would be the three biggies. Are you confident enough to watch your girlfriend or wife work night after night with the same man? Are you comfortable going to parties and other events on your own? Are you confident that she will come home safe at the end of the nightshift? If you are, you may be ready to date or marry a female officer.

Really, dating or marrying a female officer isn't so bad. She makes her own money, doesn't have to buy clothes for work, only needs one pair of shoes (her boots), she can take care of herself when you are away on a business trip, and her male counterparts often have additional skills that can help around the house: painters, landscapers etc. Not a bad deal, really. Ask my husband-he likes it.








_*Susan Grant* is a sergeant with the Saskatoon Police Service in Canada. She has 18 years service and is presently the sergeant in charge of the School Resource Section. Sgt. Grant is also involved in Women in Policing and will be hosting the International Association of Women Police Conference in Saskatoon in September 2006. Her real passion is watching her son's hockey games and enjoying her acreage with her cop-husband. Life is good in Canada._


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## kttref (Oct 5, 2004)

Great article. She actually puts out a bunch of good ones, quite frequently.


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## Capt. Kirk (Nov 21, 2002)

Wow she pretty much hit it right on the money. Very good article.


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## stm4710 (Jul 6, 2004)

Where can these non clingy women be found? :-o


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## Bene_G (Dec 6, 2005)

Fabulous article, and applicable to military females as well. Very hard to find a man who wants a woman in the service. 

We're too independent, so men feel unneccessary. No one likes the idea that their honey goes on deployments or tours and lives in billeting that has men in the next room! Not to mention all our best friends are men...and no one seems to accept that comradery is not a physical love of our fellow troops.

To be pefectly honest, I also feel that civilian men are insecure. Who wants a woman who's more man than they are? Most civ men are bothered by the fact that their lady is willing to die for her country, while he's sitting at home, playing armchair warrior.

I'm out of the service now, but I'll probably always be single. It's just too hard to find someone I can respect.


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