# Need help with a sexual assault question



## Guest (Sep 13, 2006)

Some background:
My friend is 21 years old.
This incident happened about 2.5 years ago.
She and her best friend had been friends since childhood.
While visiting her friend the friend’s father made his way into her bedroom (the guest bedroom) and attempted to forcibly have sex with her. He was groping her, kissing her, and trying to force her hand down his pants.
She told him that if he didn't leave, she would scream, he did leave.
The family is rather split as to what to do, some say report the man (who is a longtime friend of the family) others sort of say let it go. Some go so far as to "blame" the girl.
This man is married and after this event, many in the family (my friend included) started thinking about his actions and it now seems pretty clear that this guy has sort of been building up to this for years. He was always very touchy feely, said to my friend (even at an early age) how pretty she was, took pictures of her, bought her gifts etc.
Now my friend sort of wants to let it go; her mom, who advocated reporting the scum, was killed in a very bad car accident last year. My friend was going to report it but since the tragic death of her mom, she's just not strong enough to go through more pain right now.
As a friend of the family and of my friend, I am torn between reporting this scumbag and honoring my friends wish to let it go. Not that a profession means anything but his daughter was just arrested in LV for solicitation and drugs. It is generally thought that he molested the daughter as well. 
Now to the question, is there any way I can anonymously report this crime? Can I call the state police and give the guys name and say he tried to rape a person I know? I see this guy in town (he live in MA for half the year, and in NY for have the year) and I just want to kick his ass every time I see him. I saw him at the pizza place the other day and was praying he would choke to death.
What can I do?


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## phuzz01 (May 1, 2002)

The incident should be reported. However, even if you go and report it, the police cannot do anything unless your friend cooperates and gives them a statement. So, if she is not going to report it, do you have any reason to to believe that she will cooperate with the police if you do? The point is, if she is not ready to report this incident, then I would just keep giving her encouragement and support until she is ready. Then she can report it herself.

One other thing: I hate anonymous reports. If something is important enough to report to the police, then it is important enough for you to give them your damn name and allow them to properly follow up. I know you don't want your friend to know that it was you, but trust me, when the police started asking her about the incident, she'd know it was you that told them. We put almost zero trustworthiness in an anonymous reports, and so does the court.


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## tomcats (Aug 26, 2005)

Understandable that your friend has been through some tough times and doesn't want to go through anymore. She should however, think about whatelse this dirtbag might be up to and who else he may be acosting. Granted she was probably traumatized by the incident but he let her go. What about the next girl who he doesn't let go?????


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## 209 (Jun 18, 2005)

Tomcats is absolutly right. You need to convince her to go to the Police. Brushing a violent sex crime under the rug will just allow it to continue. Think of it this way...Could you or you friend live with yourselves if sometime in the future you knew that another young female was molested, raped, kidnapped, or even killed and there was a possibility it could have been prevented. Not me! Not in a million years. You asked this question in a Police forum, you obviously are very concerned, and I bet you already know what you need to do.


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## Deuce (Sep 27, 2003)

phuzz01 said:


> The incident should be reported. However, even if you go and report it, the police cannot do anything unless your friend cooperates and gives them a statement. So, if she is not going to report it, do you have any reason to to believe that she will cooperate with the police if you do? The point is, if she is not ready to report this incident, then I would just keep giving her encouragement and support until she is ready. Then she can report it herself.
> 
> One other thing: I hate anonymous reports. If something is important enough to report to the police, then it is important enough for you to give them your damn name and allow them to properly follow up. I know you don't want your friend to know that it was you, but trust me, when the police started asking her about the incident, she'd know it was you that told them. We put almost zero trustworthiness in an anonymous reports, and so does the court.


:dito:


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