# How to keep awake at meetings / in-service



## Gil (Jun 15, 1998)

Every once and a while a funny email comes my way, this is one of them..

----------------------------------------------------------

How to keep awake at meetings / in-service

HOW TO STAY AWAKE AT MEETINGS
(may be a replay for some of you professional conference attenders!)

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5"x 5" is a good size.
Divide the card into columns, five across and five down. That will give you 25 one inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
* synergy
* strategic fit
* core competencies
* best practice
* bottom line
* revisit
* take that off-line
* 24/7
* out of the loop
* benchmark
* value-added
* pro-active
* win-win
* think outside the box
* fast track
* result-driven
* empower (or empowerment)
* knowledge base
* at the end of the day
* touch base
* mind-set
* client focus(ed)
* paradigm
* game plan
* leverage
and last but not least
*MOVING FORWARD......

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout, "BULLSHIT!"


Testimonials from satisfied "BullShit Bingo" players:

"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."
-Paul D., Caloundra

"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."
- David D., Rockhampton

"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box."
- Ben G., Sydney

"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours."
- Kathleen L., Canberra


----------



## CampusOfficer (Dec 29, 2002)

CLASSIC!!!


----------



## ryan933 (Oct 3, 2003)

Coming out of the corporate world and into LE, I can vouch for how accurate this is! It seems the CEO's and other Exec's all read the same buzz word magazine over their morning coffee each day. 

...did I mention how glad I am to be out of the corporate rat race? :wink: 

Ryan


----------



## Bluelite75 (Feb 12, 2004)

Very good, this joke is going to get lots of miles.


----------



## dcs2244 (Jan 29, 2004)

I'll be using this "tool" at our next "team meeting" ( a "team meeting" is where we get to drive for 1.5 hours to be told how things are going to be, and then get to drive 1.5 hours back home).


----------



## Cadet101 (Nov 6, 2002)

That's Great! 8)


----------



## kttref (Oct 5, 2004)

I have a few conference calls Monday morning...I'm totally doing that. I mean they're going to be "letting me go" soon anyway!


----------



## MVS (Jul 2, 2003)

kttref @ Sun Oct 17 said:


> I have a few conference calls Monday morning...I'm totally doing that. I mean they're going to be "letting me go" soon anyway!


Now those are something I DON'T miss!! :lol:


----------



## Clouseau (Mar 9, 2004)

Why would you want to stay awake?

I've gotten some of my best down time at these things.


----------

