# Helping families of officers killed in the line of duty



## kwflatbed (Dec 29, 2004)

*The Street Survival Newsline*
with Calibre Press

*Helping families of officers killed in the line of duty*


By Scott Buhrmaster
PoliceOne Managing Editor

The loss of an officer in the line of duty has a deeply painful impact on the department, the community and ultimately, the nation. But the most painful blow is dealt to the officer's family, whose worst nightmares are suddenly realized. The lurking fear that the "goodbye" said before a shift might be the last has suddenly become an unimaginable reality. 
It now falls to those left behind to serve and protect that family. Here are a few things you can do to help after a line of duty death.

*Avoid avoidance. *
Be present, particularly if you are close to the family. It's extremely hard to know what to say to the spouse of an officer killed in the line of duty and because of that, it can be tempting to delay contact, or worse yet, to avoid it altogether, even though you know your presence would be comforting. 
Don't wait to reach out with the thought that time might buy you the right words to say. In many instances, very little needs to be said. What the family needs is your presence. They need to know you're there, physically, mentally and emotionally.

*Watch what you say. *
When an officer is killed in the line of duty, emotions understandably run extremely high. When you talk with the family, however, be careful not to let those emotions boil over. Firing off comments like, "Don't worry, we'll catch the son of a bitch who killed your husband and we'll make sure he fries," is more likely to be painful than helpful to the surviving family. 
Venting is fine and necessary, but don't let off steam in front of the family thinking that by revealing your anger and frustration you will help decrease theirs. You likely won't.

*Remember that in a law enforcement family, the "Law Enforcement Family" is crucial. *
After an officer has died, make sure that the surviving family is still invited to departmental gatherings and events year after year. Surviving spouses have commented that in some instances, not only did they lose their spouse, but they lost their "law enforcement family" as well. Make sure a surviving family isn't inadvertently cut off from the support and friendship they had with all of you prior to the officer's death.

Full Article: Helping families of officers killed in the line of duty


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